The Power of Gratitude in Hard Times


How To Have Gratitude In Hard Times

It is easy to feel grateful during the good times but during hard times, it can be difficult to feel grateful. However, gratitude can be a very powerful force that can bring feelings of hope and can help heal us. Gratitude is essential to getting us through tough times. 

Feeling Grateful Vs. Being Grateful

There is a difference between feeling grateful and being grateful. It can be easy to fall into the trap of just feeling sorry for ourselves when things are down. And it is okay to feel all of your emotions–it is unhealthy to deny what you feel. Feelings are formed by how we look at the world, so by practicing gratitude, even during the darkest of days, we can help lead our feelings to a better place. 

Gratitude Is A Choice

The old adage is that being grateful is a choice and it certainly is something that must be practiced. But it is well worth the work. Gratitude is the foundation that allows us to view our life through a different lense. It is like standing on a mountaintop, allowing us to see everything in our lives, both good and bad. It changes our perspective. To get there, you must first climb that mountain. 

Shift Your Perspective

Practicing gratefulness is not about learning to buck up and count your blessings. It is more about shifting your perspective. This deliberate practice in shifting your perspective means that you have to actively seek it. Start with just one little thing. Whether that small thing is some tasty food or a friend you can lean on, these small things, really aren’t all that small. These are the things that give us life but they are also easy to overlook, especially if it is something that is familiar or innate. Take a moment to notice these things. Soak them up and feel a sense of gratitude for them. Even just by taking a minute to enjoy something that brings you happiness can help to shift your perspective and allow you to start from a better place to deal with the challenges in front of you. 

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” It can be comforting to know that we are not alone in our suffering. But it can also be nice to take the focus off of your own troubles, even for a little while, to help someone else deal with their burden. Whether it is just listening to someone talk about what is upsetting them or letting someone cut ahead of you in line, it can be healing to be kind. When times get tough, it is important that we reach out to one another and feel grateful for that connection.

It is important to remember that gratitude is a life-long practice. You must actively work on it each day and it also won’t automatically make everything sunshine and roses. But when used, it is certainly a powerful coping tool to help us weather the storm. 

It’s Not Always About You

I woke up this morning with a thought. I honestly can’t even remember what it was any more. But it was important to me at the time. Then I heard a little voice in my head say, ”It’s not always about you” and that literally stopped me in my tracks. And that voice was right. It’s not always about me. Or you.

What Does That Really Mean?

As humans, we naturally spend a lot of time thinking about ourselves. What are our needs? Our wants? Who do we want to be with? What do we want for lunch? Why is something hurting today? All of that is a normal part of life, and in many ways crucial to our survival.

But many of us forget that, at the end of the day, we are just a speck in a huge world full of billions of people, animals, plants and other living things. And we all have an impact on one another: trees help us breathe, pets bring us joy, and humans love and support one another. When too many individuals become hyperfocused on themselves, they begin neglecting other members of this vast ecosystem that we are all intended to support.

Real-Life Examples

Let’s say you want to get together with an old friend and it’s just not working out. You’re getting frustrated. Why? Because “you” can’t get together with your friend.

But did you ever stop to think that maybe your friend has a legitimate reason for blowing you off (e.g., a health matter, family matter etc.) that you just weren’t aware of? In this case, it isn’t about “you” at all? Because after all, it’s not always about you.

Now let’s use that same scenario but this time you do get together with this friend. The entire conversation seems to be about his life and very little about what has been going on in your world. And you’re feeling kind of ignored and unimportant.

But again, did you ever stop to think that maybe your friend was at a tipping point and just needed someone to vent to? Once again, it isn’t about you at all.

When We Realize That “It’s Not Always About You”

Now, you may be sinking in your chair right about now; sitting there thinking about all the times that you were focused on yourself and how you felt.

But look at this as a growth opportunity; a chance for you to make the world a better place by focusing less on yourself and more on the people around you. Maybe it’s time for you to say “I’m sorry” for those recent moments in which you’ve focused on yourself when maybe you should have been thinking about other people.

I believe, from time to time, we are selected to do things for the purpose of helping others. We just happen to be the right person, at the right time, to perform a necessary task, like listening to our friend who really needed to talk. And yet often we have no idea of the who or why we are performing this task.

This is the beauty of life. We perform certain actions without fully having a grasp on the unintended consequences of these actions. We make the world a better place without even realizing it.

And to do this is so incredibly simple. All we have to do is realize: “It isn’t always about you.”

Slow Down. You Move Too Fast.

In the last blog post The Simplicity of Saying I’m Sorry, we analyzed Elton John’s classic song from the 1970’s, “Sorry seems to be the hardest word.” And we thought long and hard about the word “sorry” and how such a small word can have such a big impact. For this post, I’m going to do something similar with a revised line from Simon and Garfunkel’s 1960’s hit “Feelin’ Groovy”: Slow down you move too fast, you got to make the (moment) last.

Why Are We Going So Fast?

Let’s take a moment (no pun intended) and think about the importance of pace on this journey called life.

Most of us experience life on a daily basis at warp speed. But why? I would venture to say it’s because society tells us this is the norm. We’re somehow conditioned to believe that if we don’t go through life pedal-to-the-metal, we’re going to be missing out.

But missing out on what? Getting that great job? Making new friends? The 24-7 news that everyone else is on top of? I would venture to say that the race to nowhere is primarily making us miss out on our sanity.

Why We All Should Slow Down

Racing through life, as we are told to do, isn’t good for any one of us. Here are just a few of the good reasons why.

• Moving at warp speed is both mentally draining and physically unhealthy. It doesn’t give our minds or bodies ample time to rest.

• Feeling obligated to race for something … anything … sets emotionally unrealistic expectations. We’re being set up for failure and that will lead to us ultimately feeling badly about ourselves  

• Continuing to function at a dizzying pace gives us little time to take notice and appreciate the little things that make life special.

Make Yourself a Promise: To Slow Down

So what’s the answer?  I think can be found in the title of this blog…

Slow down, you move too fast….You got to make the (moment) last 

Now this doesn’t mean you have to quit your job and retire tomorrow on a beach somewhere (although if you can, lucky you!) What it does mean is that you should take a few moments every day to … well … enjoy the moment.

Think about the times each day that you feel most rushed. Maybe it’s running to work in the morning. Or it’s scrambling to get the dishes done after dinner. Make yourself a promise that next time you feel that anxiety — that stress that comes with running at warp speed – you are going to stop, take a deep breath, and find something in that moment to appreciate.

Your mind, and your body, will thank you for it. And you won’t miss a thing.

How to mentally prepare for cancer battle


How do you mentally prepare yourself for something like a cancer battle?

When you are facing cancer, the biggest battle you face might actually not be physical. Yes, don’t let me discount the immense physical battle that you are facing day in and day out to get your physical body back to a healthy state. That is a HUGE battle. However, sometimes it’s not a battle we, personally, have full power over. All the while, there’s a battle happening in our minds and in our souls, and if we don’t pay attention, we could lose this battle very easily. 

The Mind is Powerful

Our minds are powerful and they have the power to help us in more ways that we realize. That’s why meditation and prayer is so important, especially as you prepare for your cancer battle. You need to be at your strongest, and that starts with your mindset!

A study by the American Cancer Society shared that “In our observational study, we found people who found feelings of transcendence or meaningfulness or peace reported feeling the least physical problems.” This isn’t just nice feelings that are getting us by, but trends found in medical studies showing that meditation and prayer can have a profound effect!

So, how do we mentally prepare to fight cancer with strength?

I can’t guarantee that I’ve got this all figured out and I can’t guarantee it will ALL work for EVERYONE, but I do know that these are helpful things that may help some of us. And, for those of us reading who don’t have cancer, but are still walking through hard times, you might find some help in these as well. 

  1.  Be realistic. Be true to yourself, knowing that you are walking into a battle. Think through some of the realities, knowing that some days will be harder than others. It won’t be all rainbows and sunshine. While it’s good to be optimistic, it’s also good to have a realistic foundation, knowing that while you can have hope and be positive, it won’t always be easy. 
  2. Cling to hope. There is always hope and if you can cling to that concept, it will do you a world of good. Look for hope in the world around you. Even if it’s just in the simplest of flowers peeking out after a long winter. 
  3. Focus on your purpose. We all have a purpose in life and a “why” behind what we do in it. The journey to get to that purpose may look different from what we imagined, but encourage yourself to look beyond the circumstances and instead focus on what the bigger purpose and bigger picture might be. 
  4. Pray and Meditate. Start and end your day in silent moments where you can focus your mind. You can block out the distractions from the day and the voices that may have spoken hard things to you. Focus yourself back on what you know to be true.
  5. Surround yourself with encouraging people. Who is on your team? Are they lifting you up? Or, are they filling you with worry and doubt? Be smart about what voices you are choosing to listen to. 
  6. Take a digital hiatus. Friends, social media may NOT be the right place to be when you’re going through tough times. In seasons of a fight, you may not want to focus on what others are doing. It might be a good time to simply change some of your surfing habits on social media. 

While there are so many other things you can do to mentally arm yourself for the cancer battle, my hope is that you’ve found at least a few things you can do to help you today. Whether you are fighting cancer yourself, or are a friend to a warrior today, may we all focus on the mental battle that goes alongside the physical battle of cancer!