Are You Really Happy? Or Just Pretending?

Are you just an actor in this play we call life? That may sound a little heavy, but here’s what I’m really asking: Are you truly living life or just playing the role of a bit part? Are you really happy?

I’m going to venture to say that there are two types of people in this world: those that fake it, or pretend their way through life, and those that are real and get the most out of every minute of every day.

Many of us are some combination of the two. But to truly find happiness in life, we all need to shift away from the “pretender” in us and towards the “non-pretender.”

Start by asking yourself which of the two categories below you seem to gravitate towards now. And be honest. No one is listening.

The Pretenders

You might be a pretender if….

• You often take the path of least resistance and tell others what they want to hear.

• You are more worried about hurting someone’s feelings than actually helping those in need.

• You value all the trappings of success — a beautiful house, family and life.

• You prioritize the external appearance of your life over the internal reality of it.

The Non-Pretenders

You might be a non-pretender if…

• You may not always tell people what they want to hear, but will instead tell them what they need to hear.

• You place your emphasis on providing a helping hand to those in need, and show compassion by being forthright about a situation or circumstance, whatever, it may be.

• You put your emphasis on faith, family and friends above all else.

• You measure life based on the intangibles — like relationships, happiness and time — over any material object or thing.   

So Are You Really Happy?

As you’ve probably guessed by now, pretenders tend to look happy, but they’re generally not. Non-pretenders, on the other hand, often don’t care how they appear to others. What they care about is how they feel inside. Are they happy? Are they helping others? Are they enjoying each and every day? Do they go to sleep at night with a sense of inner peace: that what they did today made their lives, and the world as a whole, a better place?

If you’re already in the non-pretender camp, then wonderful. Are you really happy? Probably. But if you’re more “pretender” than you’d like to be, now’s your chance to take a good, hard look at your life. And maybe make some changes that will truly pay off in the long run.

The Grass Is Always Greener… or Is It?

I want to change things up a little bit for this blog. This poem was written April 2019 to capture the harsh realities associated with a divorce.

All couples experience challenging times in their relationship. Just because a relationship is going through a rough patch, however, doesn’t necessarily mean that life would be better if the relationship was over. 

Now, I’m not saying that every couple should stay together regardless of the circumstances. Plenty of couples would probably be happier and better off if they weren’t together. But it’s human nature for individuals to think that things would be better (and the grass would be greener) if they found a new partner, got a new job, or moved to a new house. And often that desire to chase something … anything … is more about the person and less about the situation.

So as the poem’s closing states…the grass may appear, but is not always greener on the other side…and sometimes the grass is pretty darn green where you are.

The Wars We Wage

An impenetrable bond
That once encased two hearts
Is now in a state of disarray
Shattered and torn apart

And when the warring factions
Placed their battlements on the ground
Little was left standing
A familiar world turned upside down

Looking over the battlefield
Where both sides were engaged
Remained relics of the bitterness
From which this uncivil war was waged

And now the spoils from the victory
Seem hardly worth the cost
When considering the sheer magnitude
Of personal and financial loss

So, the lesson that can be taken
And one should keep in mind
The grass may appear, but is not always
Greener on the other side

Written by: Frank Antonicelli
April 2019

Larry Bird Quotes: The World Through His Eyes

It would be sacrilegious for a long-time Boston Celtics fan to write blog post #33 (and yes, I’m counting) about anything other than “The Hick from French Lick,” also known as Larry Legend, #33 for the 1980’s Boston Celtics … you know … Larry Bird. In his honor, I will be talking a bit about his history (both personal and professional) and sharing some Larry Bird quotes of wisdom.

Bird’s Highlights

According to Nat Berman’s post “The 10 Most Inspirational Quotes by Larry Bird,” Larry Bird is the only person in the history of the National Basketball Association (NBA) to be named Most Valuable Player, Coach of the Year, and Executive of the Year.

After spending 13 years as a player with the Boston Celtics, during which he was an 11-time All Star, and won a trophy case full of awards, three NBA Championships, and an Olympic gold medal, Larry Bird retired from playing in 1992 and moved on to coaching.

 Just as he excelled as an athlete, Larry led the Indiana Pacers to some of the biggest franchise moments, including a 2000 NBA Finals appearance against the Los Angeles Lakers.

Larry Bird Quotes: In His Own Words

What better way to acknowledge the greatness of the man than to share some great Larry Bird quotes:

• “I don’t know if I practiced more than anybody but I sure practiced enough. I still wonder if somebody-somewhere was practicing more than me.”

• “I learned what my weaknesses were and I went out the next day to turn those weaknesses into strengths.”

• “A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents, works his tail off to develop them into skills, and uses these skills to accomplish his goals.”

“Push yourself again and again. Don’t give an inch until the final buzzer sounds.”

“I’ve got a theory that if you give 100% all of the time, somehow things will work out in the end.”

• “Don’t let winning make you soft. Don’t let losing make you quit. Don’t let your teammates down in any situation.”

• “You can make all the excuses you want. but if you’re not mentally tough and you’re not prepared to play every night, you’re not going to win.”

And there you have it, the world thought the eyes of a legend, Larry Bird. Take notes. There’s a lot we all can learn from “The Hick from French Lick.”

5 Things to Be Thankful for This Thanksgiving

As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday, so many people are busy preparing food, watching a parade, starting their holiday shopping, or cheering on their favorite football team. But this year, I’d like to plant a different seed in your mind: things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving; things that you might have taken for granted in years’ past.

Face it: most of us blow through the holiday season at warp speed. But when you wake up this Thanksgiving morning, I want you to pay special attention to the following events throughout the day. And without further ado….

Five Things to Be Thankful For

1. Freedom to travel. If you are traveling to a Thanksgiving Day destination, stop and think for a moment about how fortunate we are to have the luxury of freedom of movement — be it across town or across the country — via our method of choice. Also, consider the fact that there are no restrictions placed on where we can spend our holiday or with who(m) we choose to congregate, both foreign concepts in some countries.

2. Freedom of expression. Sitting around the Thanksgiving table, most families become engaged in conversations ranging from the Thanksgiving Day parade and NFL games on TV, to … ahem … current events (and, no, I’m not talking about the weather). Regardless of the subject matter, we have the freedom to express our thoughts, ideas, and philosophies of life with one another (hopefully in a civil manner) without fear of incrimination.

3. Friends and family. As you sit down for your Thanksgiving meal, take note of the family members and friends around the table. This moment, for many, can be a time of both joy and sadness, as we reflect on family members and close friends no longer with us. Now, I’m by no means trying to bum you out. What I hope is that you recognize and acknowledge how much you appreciate those special individuals gathered with you on this Thanksgiving 2019.

4. Freedom of beliefs. Before the Thanksgiving meal, families may choose to offer a blessing for those gathered, former family members, and the food itself. We have the opportunity to express our beliefs and gratitude (or not) in the manner of our choosing without restriction. And the Thanksgiving meal can be whatever we and those with us want it to be. This again is a privilege we should recognize and appreciate.

5. The positive changes you’ve made this year. Lastly, I want you to think about how your life has changed in 2019. Have you initiated these changes — personal, professional, health etc. — or have they been forced upon you? Which changes are you most proud of? And how can you experience more joy and happiness in your life and with loved ones in the New Year?

There you have it. Five things to be thankful for this year that you may not have thought of otherwise. Wishing all a safe and Happy Thanksgiving 2019!