Cancer Archives - Page 3 of 5 - Frank Antonicelli

What Is the Definition of Win in a Cancer Battle?

In today’s society, a lot of emphasis is placed on winning and losing. But why? And what is the definition of “win” anyway?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of everyone getting a “feel-good” ribbon for participating in an event. In fact, I’ve found that some of life’s most valuable lessons are acquired through experiencing the competitive thrill of victory or agony of defeat. But when we’re talking about a cancer diagnosis and battle or contest, it’s an entirely different ballgame.

Winning Isn’t Everything? Really?

Seldom does the topic of winning come up, in any aspect of life, without mention of the famous quote: “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.” That quote is often attributed to the legendary head football coach of the Green Bay Packers, Vince Lombardi. And yet, you may be surprised to learn that in the documentary titled Lombardi, a sportswriter recounts a conversation with Coach Lombardi where the Coach told him, “I wish to hell I’d never said [that].”

Coach Lombardi went on to say, “What I believe is, if you go out on a football field, or any endeavor in life, and you leave every fiber of what you have on the field, then you’ve won.”

Apparently, Coach Lombardi learned some life lessons after his famous quote. It made him rethink his definition of win.

You vs. Cancer: The Definition of “Win”

The cancer battle discussed throughout Know Your Enemy isn’t “won” in the traditional sense.

I believe, as Coach Lombardi, that to win means having the physical and mental toughness to take on this enemy head-on, with every ounce of your being every day. It requires a total commitment to doing whatever it takes in terms of the team you build and the treatments that you pursue, and leaving nothing on the table. Lastly, it means surrounding yourself with your faith, family, and friends to help you to navigate one of life’s most difficult challenges.

If you were to ask me what is the one thing readers should take away from this book, I would say it is having an understanding that in cancer, as in life, there are many factors beyond our control—stage, type, detection, genetic composition, environment, diet, fate, etc.—all of which will play a role in determining the outcome of the battle.

It’s important to remember to focus your time and energy on the things you can control or change. As the Serenity Prayer says:

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

That is the secret to standing tall against the enemy. That is the definition of “win.”

The Real Warriors: Cancer Fighters

In the dedication section of Know Your Enemy, I described the individuals that I believe are the real warriors of our time.

They are not to be confused with so-called warrior athletes, labeled as such from their “freakish” exploits on the field of play. The individuals I am referring to are not playing a kids’ game; they are adults and children, patients and caregivers, and medical professionals engaged in a daily struggle against a formidable opponent—cancer.

In re-reading this description five years later, I don’t think I could say it any better today, so I’ve included an excerpt for this blog…

They are the chemotherapy patients on a cocktail so strong they have little energy to get out of bed in the morning—or the radiation patients that suffer treatment side effects, such as severe joint or nerve pain or burning skin. Then add the responsibilities of raising a family or maintaining a career, and now you’re talking about a Herculean effort just to make it through the day.

They are also the caregivers whose worlds are turned upside down when a loved one is confronted with a cancer diagnosis. They need to be strong in helping to battle this enemy, while coping with their own fear and trauma.

Last, but not least, they are the medical professionals on the front lines caring for, supporting, and consoling patients and family members in their greatest time of need.

— Dedication excerpt, October 2015

Do you have someone in your life that has exhibited extraordinary strength of character in their battle with cancer? If so, have you told this real warrior that he (or she) is your hero? If not, what are you waiting for?

So here is my ode to the real warriors in my life.

To my mother, Maxine R. Antonicelli; my wife, Alyson C. Antonicelli; my little buddy, Derek Johnson #223 (son of Tina and Scott Johnson); personal friend and neighbor Stephen B. Wagoner; and all those who are engaged against the enemy—cancer—this book is dedicated to you, for you are true warriors, gladiators in the arena of life.
— Frank Antonicelli

Love Heals: The Most Powerful Cancer-Fighting Tool

Today, I feel compelled to write about something emotionally powerful; something that has the ability to (literally) change lives. It is the healing power of love. And I can say this with certainty: love heals.

How I Know Love Heals

In the 1^st edition of my book, Know Your Enemy, Chapter 1: Gather Your Troops, I touched on the healing power of love as described by Deepak Chopra. He writes “The use of love is to heal. When it flows without effort from the depth of the self, love creates health.”

And I agree. I believe, at its core, there is a real purity and electricity that is created in a loving environment. The result is very powerful — almost super-natural — force that has infinite abilities to heal the human body.

I witnessed first-hand how the love and compassion from family and friends directed toward my mother, Maxine, and my wife, Alyson, gave off an electricity that energized their spirits on a daily basis. This outpouring of love also acted as a force-field to help protect their bodies from the constant attacks by this enemy.

**How You Can Utilize Love to Heal**

I believe love may be the single greatest weapon in the treatment arsenal against cancer … or any major illness you may be battling. Why? Because love is a foreign concept to disease and has the potential to aid in overpowering any health condition.

In today’s modern times, many people are seeking natural remedies and holistic approaches to fight everything from cancer to OCD. But is there a more natural or holistic approach to fighting an enemy than tapping into and utilizing the healing power of love?

Don’t rely on medications, injections and medical treatments alone to win your battles. Know that love heals. Trust it. Surround yourself and your loved ones with the most powerful healing energy.

And one last note … I would be remiss if I wrote about the topic of love without mentioning one of the best songs of all-time with love in the title. That would be The Beatles’ All You Need Is Love. It’s not a bad mantra and first step for any treatment regimen.

Is This What Really Matters in Life?

During the formative high school years, there is so much emphasis placed on GPA’s, class rankings and PSAT scores; all to gain acceptance into a socially-endorsed university. The same mantra re-emerges during the college (and possibly grad school) years. And the conventional wisdom is that the stakes are much higher because the ultimate prize in this contest is a life-long career that will guarantee financial stability and “success.” Is this what really matters in life?

Upon entering the job market, one soon realizes that there are unfamiliar rules and players in this contest, affectionately referred to as the “rat-race.” In this game the emphasis is placed on how rapidly one can ascend to the top rung of a soul-less corporate ladder. Is this what really matters in life?

While making the corporate climb, society has the additional expectation of “marrying right” and finding the “idyllic” homestead to serve as family point-of-refuge, with one small catch. This picturesque view of life is clouded by constant life comparisons to the mythical Joneses. Is this what really matters in life?

Then, as mid-life approaches, one’s introspective side likely begins to surface, reassessing all aspects of life to date. As this movie of life plays in one’s head, the obvious life question arises: Is this all there is? Or, is this what really matters in life?

This journey through life could have and would have been much more satisfying if at a younger age, more focus and attention had been placed on two key outcomes that are often overlooked. Those are joy and happiness — better known as fun.

The Power of Fun

My prior blogs have touched on themes about life being short and time being precious. This post places an importance on the personal fulfillment aspect of life’s journey. To put it bluntly, if we are not enjoying ourselves or having fun on this journey we call life, what is the point?

I think The Beatles said it best in the closing lyrics of “She’s Leaving Home,” found on side 1 of the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album …

She (What did we do that was wrong?) … is having (We didn’t know it was wrong?) … fun (Fun is the one thing that money can’t buy) … something inside that was always denied for (Bye bye) … so many years.

As you read the poem below, think about the question that drives this post: Is this what really matters in life?

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Breathe in, Breathe out

Breathe in-breathe out, breathe in-breathe out. What is life, really about?

When you bow your head at night to pray.

What is the message you are trying to convey?

Are you longing for a special innocence and truth?

Reminiscent of times that once defined your youth.

Are you seeking a greater meaning to life?

One free of material possessions and strife.

Breathe in-breathe out, breathe in-breathe out. What is life, really about?

The answers to life’s many mysteries,

can be found in plain view for all to see.

They’re in a setting sun on a mid-summer night,

or a red-tailed hawk soaring boldly in flight.

So if you’re hoping to one-day find,

an internal calm and peace of mind.

Remember, breathe in and breathe out,

and it will help you tune into what life is about.

Breathe in-breathe out, breathe in-breathe out, breathe in-breathe out.