The Grass Is Always Greener… or Is It?

I want to change things up a little bit for this blog. This poem was written April 2019 to capture the harsh realities associated with a divorce.

All couples experience challenging times in their relationship. Just because a relationship is going through a rough patch, however, doesn’t necessarily mean that life would be better if the relationship was over. 

Now, I’m not saying that every couple should stay together regardless of the circumstances. Plenty of couples would probably be happier and better off if they weren’t together. But it’s human nature for individuals to think that things would be better (and the grass would be greener) if they found a new partner, got a new job, or moved to a new house. And often that desire to chase something … anything … is more about the person and less about the situation.

So as the poem’s closing states…the grass may appear, but is not always greener on the other side…and sometimes the grass is pretty darn green where you are.

The Wars We Wage

An impenetrable bond
That once encased two hearts
Is now in a state of disarray
Shattered and torn apart

And when the warring factions
Placed their battlements on the ground
Little was left standing
A familiar world turned upside down

Looking over the battlefield
Where both sides were engaged
Remained relics of the bitterness
From which this uncivil war was waged

And now the spoils from the victory
Seem hardly worth the cost
When considering the sheer magnitude
Of personal and financial loss

So, the lesson that can be taken
And one should keep in mind
The grass may appear, but is not always
Greener on the other side

Written by: Frank Antonicelli
April 2019

Life Is But a Cliché: A Motivational Poem

It’s time to lighten things up again with another fun blog post. For this one, I’m going to try and tell a motivational story using only familiar clichés. But here’s the catch: I can’t use Google Search to come up with the cliché — an impossible task for the Millennial generation 😉 — but I can use Google to verify that I am stating it correctly.

Okay, here goes.

Life Is But a Cliché

Life is short and 90% of life is just showing up
So early to bed, early to rise
Live one day at a time
Make the most of each day
And live each day like it’s your last.

Slow and steady wins the race
And gives you time to stop and smell the roses
But keep in mind that every rose has its thorns.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions
So when you come to a fork in the road, take it
Because the grass is always greener on the other side
And nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Remember, you get what you pay for and there’s no free lunch
So make hay while the sun shines
Because a penny saved is a penny earned
And a fool and his money are soon parted
So if you fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely
So speak truth to power
Because rarely do you get a second chance to make a first impression.

The end justifies the means
So speak softly and carry a big stick
But don’t go off half-cocked.

Many a true word hath been spoken in jest
So have the last laugh
Because he who laughs last, laughs best.

Don’t judge a book by its cover
And actions speak louder than words
But also remember, failure to act is often the biggest failure of all.

We’re talkin’ about practice, not a game, not a game, practice
So when you finally get up to bat
Put your best foot forward
Just do your job and swing for the fences
Because you play to win the game
And second place is just the first loser.

If you love someone, set them free
If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.

All you need is love
So make love not war
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

How’s that for a cliché-filled list of life lessons?

Keep Smiling. It’s Good for You

I’ve been writing about heavy topics lately and want to lighten it up a little bit for this blog. Today’s topic? Smiling.

In my research for this blog, I came across a post on the Psychology Today website dated June 25, 2012, by guest blogger Sarah Stevenson*. It was titled There’s Magic in Your Smile, How smiling affects your brain. I really like the way Sarah describes how smiling affects the brain and I’d like to share an excerpt from her post…

How Smiling Affects Your Brain

Each time you smile, you throw a little feel-good party in your brain. The act of smiling activates neural messaging that benefits your health and happiness.

For starters, smiling activates the release of neuropeptides that work toward fighting off stress. Neuropeptides are tiny molecules that allow neurons to communicate. They facilitate messaging to the whole body when we are happy, sad, angry, depressed, or excited. The feel-good neurotransmitters — dopamine, endorphins and serotonin — are all released when a smile flashes across your face as well. This not only relaxes your body, but it can also lower your heart rate and blood pressure.

The endorphins also act as a natural pain reliever — 100-percent organic and without the potential negative side effects of synthetic concoctions.

Finally, the serotonin release brought on by your smile serves as an anti-depressant/mood lifter —and you don’t need a prescription from your doctor.

How Smiling Affects Those Around You

Did you know that your smile is actually contagious? The part of your brain that is responsible for your facial expression of smiling when happy or mimicking another’s smile resides in the cingulate cortex, an unconscious automatic response area. Looking at the bigger picture, each time you smile at a person, their brain coaxes them to return the favor. You are creating a symbiotic relationship that allows both of you to release feel-good chemicals in your brain, activate reward centers, make you both more attractive, and increase the chances of you both living longer, healthier lives.

I wrote the first version of the following poem/song titled “Smile-away” in the 1989/90 timeframe. Recently, I got it out and re-worked it until it became the version you see below.

I have a challenge for you. Try to get through this piece with a frown on your face. I’ll bet by the time you’ve said smile-away four times you will be smiling, just from reading the words…and if so, go with it. Smiling, as described in this blog, is not such a bad thing after all!

Smile-Away

Smile away, when you’re feeling blue.
Smile away, it’s getting better for you.
When times get tough and life gets you down
you can smile away, cuz it will soon turn around.

Smile away, when your blue skies turn gray.
Smile away, everything will be okay.
When times get tough and life gets you down
you can smile away, cuz it will soon turn around.

Smile away the tears of today
Smile away, no matter what they say
When you smile away soon you will see
Your smile will always set you free

Smile away, girl don’t you cry.
Smile away, and never ask why.
Good times and bad both come and they go,
Remember, from the rain comes a brilliant rainbow.

Smile away, each and every day
Smile away, no matter what they say
When you smile away soon you will see
Your smile will always set you free

Smile away. when you’re feeling blue.
Smile away, it’s getting better for you.
When you smile away soon you will see
Your smile will always set you free, set you free, set you free…

—–

Now keep smiling.

*Sarah Stevenson, a.k.a., The Tini Yogini, is a certified yoga instructor in Southern California. She has a degree in Behavioral Psychology and teaches not only yoga classes, but also life-affirming workshops

Is This What Really Matters in Life?

During the formative high school years, there is so much emphasis placed on GPA’s, class rankings and PSAT scores; all to gain acceptance into a socially-endorsed university. The same mantra re-emerges during the college (and possibly grad school) years. And the conventional wisdom is that the stakes are much higher because the ultimate prize in this contest is a life-long career that will guarantee financial stability and “success.” Is this what really matters in life?

Upon entering the job market, one soon realizes that there are unfamiliar rules and players in this contest, affectionately referred to as the “rat-race.” In this game the emphasis is placed on how rapidly one can ascend to the top rung of a soul-less corporate ladder. Is this what really matters in life?

While making the corporate climb, society has the additional expectation of “marrying right” and finding the “idyllic” homestead to serve as family point-of-refuge, with one small catch. This picturesque view of life is clouded by constant life comparisons to the mythical Joneses. Is this what really matters in life?

Then, as mid-life approaches, one’s introspective side likely begins to surface, reassessing all aspects of life to date. As this movie of life plays in one’s head, the obvious life question arises: Is this all there is? Or, is this what really matters in life?

This journey through life could have and would have been much more satisfying if at a younger age, more focus and attention had been placed on two key outcomes that are often overlooked. Those are joy and happiness — better known as fun.

The Power of Fun

My prior blogs have touched on themes about life being short and time being precious. This post places an importance on the personal fulfillment aspect of life’s journey. To put it bluntly, if we are not enjoying ourselves or having fun on this journey we call life, what is the point?

I think The Beatles said it best in the closing lyrics of “She’s Leaving Home,” found on side 1 of the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album …

She (What did we do that was wrong?) … is having (We didn’t know it was wrong?) … fun (Fun is the one thing that money can’t buy) … something inside that was always denied for (Bye bye) … so many years.

As you read the poem below, think about the question that drives this post: Is this what really matters in life?

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Breathe in, Breathe out

Breathe in-breathe out, breathe in-breathe out. What is life, really about?

When you bow your head at night to pray.

What is the message you are trying to convey?

Are you longing for a special innocence and truth?

Reminiscent of times that once defined your youth.

Are you seeking a greater meaning to life?

One free of material possessions and strife.

Breathe in-breathe out, breathe in-breathe out. What is life, really about?

The answers to life’s many mysteries,

can be found in plain view for all to see.

They’re in a setting sun on a mid-summer night,

or a red-tailed hawk soaring boldly in flight.

So if you’re hoping to one-day find,

an internal calm and peace of mind.

Remember, breathe in and breathe out,

and it will help you tune into what life is about.

Breathe in-breathe out, breathe in-breathe out, breathe in-breathe out.

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Find your fun. Find your peace. Find what life is really about.